i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize