HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i would punch a child for taco bell
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
