i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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