Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
