My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
