I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and she was petting her beer can
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
