If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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