Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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