My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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