My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
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You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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