The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize