i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
