): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
