I want to make a zoo with you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize