you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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