It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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