i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
