I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
