I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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