I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
