it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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