You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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