My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
