she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize