Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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