This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
