so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
