so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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