I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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