when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
