If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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