There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
