No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
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Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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