Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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