what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
