is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There's always time for handjobs
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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