I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.