my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.