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• (503): View more from Oregon

  my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night

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• (210): View more from Texas

  no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

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• (315): View more from New York

  I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (585): View more from New York

  they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this

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• (425): View more from Washington

  What goes on in that head of yours?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Gay sex, for the most part. Why?

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.

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• (949): View more from California

  also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"

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• (435): View more from Utah

  The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.

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