whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.