Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

(206): View more from Washington

joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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(206): remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine? (206): joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/ignl

Replies (13) Good night (2096) Bad night (676)
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(718): View more from New York

Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

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(718): Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't. http://tfl.nu/3gl0

Replies (15) Good night (1259) Bad night (4877)
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(805): View more from California

He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.

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(805): He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/7h8c

Replies (13) Good night (1514) Bad night (5244)
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(718): View more from New York

According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.

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(718): According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago. http://tfl.nu/y0dx

Replies (5) Good night (2556) Bad night (770)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

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(603): Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day http://tfl.nu/sq9b

Replies (15) Good night (769) Bad night (1609)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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(780): i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch. http://tfl.nu/33ox

Replies (7) Good night (1994) Bad night (687)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout

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(732): I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout http://tfl.nu/4dgw

Replies (9) Good night (1859) Bad night (813)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7

Replies (10) Good night (1603) Bad night (941)
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(520): View more from Arizona

One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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(520): One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops. http://tfl.nu/4y8e

Replies (10) Good night (2058) Bad night (726)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

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(970): I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message. http://tfl.nu/3foq

Replies (6) Good night (2009) Bad night (608)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome

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(+44): Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome http://tfl.nu/l1fy

Replies (8) Good night (1138) Bad night (523)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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(240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no

Replies (7) Good night (439) Bad night (970)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?

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(780): Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office? http://tfl.nu/0lyw

Replies (6) Good night (378) Bad night (657)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.

(1-251): View more from Alabama

It was totally the lead singer.

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(251): I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced. (1-251): It was totally the lead singer. http://tfl.nu/pb9x

Replies (6) Good night (616) Bad night (263)
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(587): View more from Alberta

We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.

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(587): We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/8kzg

Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (177)

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