I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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