I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
