my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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