just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
