I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
