did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
