Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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