i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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