I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
