I cannot find my penis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
