hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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