Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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