Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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