He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
