Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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