i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
