is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
either way he was missing a nipple.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
