Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
