Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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