I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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