eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
