On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
