Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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