the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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