I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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