I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
