I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
