smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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