Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
