sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
