The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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