He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
